Don't worry, there are some simple things you can do when you have lost the tools.
First, we do sell a replacement took kit for you pole here =>
There are other commonly household tools that you can use to get the pole down as well, here is how:
The best way to loosen the locking nut and screw it up the black adjuster bar is to use a good pair of soft grip channel locks to get it loose. These can be purchased many places like Wal Mart or a lumber yard store like Home Depot or you can get them at the link provided here in this article on Amazon.
The locking nut can get really tight or stuck, which can happen if you tried to unscrew the pole down from the ceiling without FIRST loosening the locking nut. In this case, if the channel locks cannot loosen the locking nut then use a pipe wrench. Pipe wrenches are harder find and more expensive but work every time. If you have a friend who is a plumber he will have one on hand you can borrow : )
The other tools in your kit were just Allen Wrenches which you need to change the pole from spinning to static mode. The pole must be locked in static before attempting to take the pole down. These can also be purchased at Wal Mart or a local Lumber Yard like Home Depot for about 5$ : ) These are usually sold in "sets" with various sizes so you won't need to know the size of your hex screws in your dance pole before you go to the store to buy the Allen Wrench set.
Here is a link to the un-installation video for your convenience > https://polefitnessdancing.com/how-to-install-a-pole-fitness-dance-pole/